Why can't we all just get along??? Seriously, there's so much bashing online, it's not even funny. If stepmoms and birth moms can't be civil, then lets just make sure the children are living their best lives exclusive of our selfish ambitions. And if the other party is being difficult, take a deep breath, set boundaries and be the bigger person.
Have you ever been in a situation whereby you're in the same space as your stepchild's birth mom and she's incredibly loud about her existence and role as the biological mother? I find it laughable because she doesn't need to be so loud with her words or actions. We know who you are. I mean, I kinda get it. In my experience I've been mistaken for my step son's mother once before while she was standing near me. I can only imagine the sting. Unfortunately this case of mistaken identity turned ugly and I was accused of spreading lies to the courts. I'm learning I have to be the bigger person in order to maintain my peace. I'm also learning to pick and choose when to speak up and when to "stay in my lane". I cheer loudly for my stepson while I stay on the sidelines during sports. I sit quietly at the doctor's office and only talk to my stepson if/when he addresses me. If my stepson requests my presence or input, I insert myself, otherwise, I sit back and observe. Because if we step moms act normal, we're overstepping right?
You see, contrary to popular belief, most stepmoms aren't trying to replace the birth mom. We're literally an addition to the family. Our role is unique and CANNOT get in the way of a mother's relationship with her child. The only person that can jeopardize that relationship is the mother. Trust me, a child's loyalty to their mother is unmatched. So I truly do not understand why a lot of birth moms feel the need to mark their territory. And if the territory must be marked, why so viciously? Why the need to tear down the stepmom?
Then you have stepmoms who are defaming their stepchildren's mothers on the internet, using vile language. It's completely unnecessary and unhelpful to the situation. I get it, hurt people hurt people. And so stepmoms and birth moms end up in this cycle of viciousness. Truth be told, in my story, it is too easy to make my step son's mom look like the bad guy. Like way too easy, without even lying. But for me, what's most important is my relationship with my husband and his son. I genuinely have no interest in using my energy in a competition I want no part of. Honestly, what is actually the point of these competitions and comparisons between the stepmom and the birth mom? Especially when you can't really control the other's person's actions. You don't have to like her, but you don't have to be disrespectful.
So, if you're a mother in a blended family, do you get along with the ex or stepmom?
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