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  • Writer's pictureTambari Wikina

Are We Celebrating Step Mother's Day?

Hey step mom,

You survived mother's day! Congratulations! For some of you, mother's day is actually your moment of recognition. For the rest, you're lucky to even get a "happy mother's day" from a stranger. 

Well here comes stepmother's day to cheer you up since you didn't get your flowers the week before; that is if you're choosing to celebrate. When it comes to stepmother's day, most stepmoms fall into three categories:

  1. The moms who embrace and celebrate Stepmother's day. They are happy that they get a day that recognizes and celebrate their efforts. It's a win for step moms.

  2. The moms who have no idea that this day exists. Well, it does exist! And I'll get into how it came to be shortly.

  3. The moms who acknowledge the day but choose not to celebrate. The feeling of being an after thought, winning second place and receiving a consolation prize is common. Or they feel there's no need to celebrate because mother's day was a positive experience.

While I appreciate the sentiment behind stepmother's day, I can't help but wonder about the circumstances of being a step mom that essentially lead to the creation of our own separate day. It's not because step mothers are special, but instead because step mothers are typically not included in spaces created for mothers.

Here's the long story short about stepmother's day. A little girl, Lizzie Capuzzi wanted to celebrate her Stepmom, Joyce. My guess is she noticed the lack of attention given to her step mom, or maybe she didn't have the opportunity to give Joyce her flowers. Either way, she decided to celebrate the Sunday after Mother's day and wrote a letter to Senator Rick Santorum about it. By showing his support, he brought it to the Senate floor. In 2000, Congress established Step Mother's day as the Sunday after Mother's day, giving Lizzie credit as the creator.

So this day has been around for over twenty years, yet not a lot of people, including step mothers are aware of it's existence. With the unfortunate growing number of blended families, I personally think there should be more exposure and conversations about it.

 I have my step son on Sunday but I'll be going out to brunch with a few other step moms. Again, I don't have any expectations beyond my control. Honestly, that's one of the best advice I'd give all step mothers.

So however you feel about Step Mother's day, I'm here to tell you that God sees you. I see you. Your role is important and you deserve your flowers! Whatever you choose to do on step mother's day, take care of yourself. 

Love you all!

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